Sher

2010-11-10T02:06:00.001+08:00

good riddance. joy to the world. !

2010-10-03T04:20:00.002+08:00

i wonder.

is hearing it that impt?

used to be, nt anymore.
:)

break that mind of urs, to keep up with mine. cos ure wrong, just this time. :)

2010-10-01T05:35:00.002+08:00

hey!

missing this space for the longest time. i'd always come back after some time.

not so much in the writing mood right now and now. so.. i promise to come back.

and if ure reading this, shirley, i love you!

:)

2010-08-11T16:41:00.002+08:00

i was glad i took a walk in the rain. now my head's a lil heavier. ive decided to continue on the reading for my long overdue novel!

ive not done alot in life. have not accomplished anything significant in life. at this point, im really glad though. my family's with me. my mom, my cousins, my aunts, my grandmama. im very appreciative. apart from family, i have my friends. close good friends. ive kept them all near. near me. can everyone pls have a twitter account pls!! and ive established a fact, good friends dont go. good friends love you, accepts you for who you are. and im thankful. and eternally grateful for the joy my friends have brought me, the tears of mine that fell on their shoulders, the path of life we shared.

the rainy weather is making me feel all fuzzy. weird huh.

cheers now to life, and many more ups and downs. embrace diversity! accept many many differences! and a toast to honesty btw ppl from all walks of life. a clear conscience goes a very very long way.

love,
sher

2010-08-08T04:04:00.002+08:00

yawns. just home.

met up with the usuals at holland v for appley apple's and aly's birthday co-celebration. missed walas for the night, but we'll be back.
it was nice. having two cars tonight, but we we had problems deciding on places to be at! because its a saturdayyyyy!
we, after all the trouble, settled at geylang's something-something-something. ive forgotten the name.

spent some time with naz after, had many long conversations about, life in general. it was nice. and now im home sweeeeet home!

life as it is, has many gifts. we go through them, we grow up from experiencing life. and srsly, life is alot more than 'love'.

2010-07-30T18:42:00.002+08:00

its weird how i can feel like that still. im almost, this close to mastering my own emotions. actual fact is, ive never, and is never close to being of that sorta mastery. im just a loser.

i dont know why. i question myself umpteen times. and i srsly, honestly, still havent got the answer.

i was focused on shift the entire time, despite my racing heart and stinging eyes. suck it in. suck it in. i did. walked straight to the bustop. boarded the bus. plugged the mp3. shut the eyes. suck it in. suck it in. i suceeded abit. came home straight. so glad to see banana. i had to come home. i had to let it out. i cant take it in.

my heart's hard like some rock, as i like to put it. but i know it isnt.

where do i go now?

2010-07-28T04:30:00.003+08:00

its raining now. outside the window. im lovin it.

though im not much of a sleepyhead now.

good day everyone.

much love from me :)

2010-07-18T16:40:00.000+08:00

have you ever felt like this : one normal fine day when you wake up for the first time, you feel everyone not around?

and as the day goes, you realized its true indeed. psychic not, psychic.

sixth sense i think.

and today, is that day for me. and i'd love to take it in my stride and tell myself its gonna be over. at the very least, the day will be over in another 8 hours. hopefully i wont be ms.unpopular anymore for a while.

wad im trying to say is, even if it continues. it being the status of being not popular and unimportant to most people whom i call my friends. of cos, i dont actually honestly think my friends disregard me, just on this day. today isnt the most 'human' day in my life. speaking back, i'd still like to say. even if the whole world thinks im not worth it, feels im not important, i'd still continue having faith in myself. blind faith some might say, those who did arent my friends i guess. mostly, i want to love myself. even when the whole world doesnt. im contented with me being myself. and thats really enough for me.

add on the heavy rain. life seems bad.
add on another cup or hot coffee, life isnt really that bad.
and additional nora roberts book. life is almost perfect.
:)

2010-07-06T12:25:00.002+08:00

i guess this is it.

easily disguised. confused feelings. where do they go now?

its changing, my life's changing.

without that arms that catches me before i fall, i assume i'd attain a few too many bruises.

i hope i recover.

if you're my friend, dont talk to me about heart. i'm glad to avoid that topic.

2010-06-27T00:44:00.002+08:00

this is like my 999th post.

my blog. from since when? cant remember. recorded the ups and the many downs of my life.

starting from tonight. i'm letting the past stay in the past. and i'll be happy.

opening tmrw! but entirely un-sleepy. hahaha :)

2010-05-20T13:25:00.000+08:00

a month has passed. i haven updated my blog for 1 month. and guess wad? nothing happened. nothing big happened. my life, is just how it was maybe a year ago.

and it sucks.

2010-04-24T14:45:00.002+08:00

im here on a sat afternoon. refusal to go out too early (prob due to the crow disturbance). meeting flo and kg for dinner later. its been some time.

im sorry for not knowing what i actually want. until now. i still dont. in all aspects. in this whole journey, i'd probably been unbearable.

as of now. work's pretty shitty. and throughout these all, ahh. ive learnt to take shit in a nice way. shit's sometimes good.

when i have problems with work, it might not be work. when i have problems in my relationship, it might not be the relationship or the other party. when i have so many problems. it is me.

2010-04-19T21:02:00.002+08:00

at the end of the day, i am just angry with life. but God knows, i know, i'll go to sleep with this enormous pain in my head and wake up tomorrow trying my best to enjoy life. every single day is to enjoy life. tonight, i decide to be angry with life.

you just cant compare. and you never ever get what you want in life. the best part? you're lucky you even know wad you want in life. im like everyone else. simplest as can be. normal like shit. i crave for the romance. i crave for the perfect life, but all in the mind. life is upsetting as it is. and disappointing. but point is, i live my own life. so i am fucking disappointing and upsetting myself. im typing nonsense. but noone cares. because tomorrow is a brand new day. tomorrow i will try to live life as i want again. and by nightfall, i'd probably been disappointed at least twice already. and then i go to sleep, and wake up again. im living in this routine. we all are. perhaps, not. my glass is empty.

im coughing shit. work is shit. nothing is going well now. fuck all that shit. my head is so damn painful.

2010-04-04T23:49:00.002+08:00

does anyone know i feel no sense of belonging at work at all? and people around me isnt making it easy for me in anyway. im doing wad im doing because, its still part of my job. it could have been harder, if the transfer happened wayy before. when i still felt emotions hanging ard the store. now its just, how can it be. im neither here nor there. unwanted to be exact. ok, if i have to think it positively, i am VERY much wanted. im tired. and im sick of being someone who's everywhere. ive been taken for granted. because ive always been expected to deliver. as much as i dont want to, i cant make myself not turn up for shifts. its just so easy for them. because you see, every other person has a home. i dont have. anymore. its really time to leave.

im still very much a friendly person. and i still love coffee. and tea.

2010-03-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

im stuck again, once again. quarterly life crisis. such rubbish does exist.

i need to be influenced. i need to make choices. i have to be clear.

dear friends, talk to me. tell me what to do. help me figure out what i want. because i really dont know. its a job issue. not relationship.

save me.

2010-03-14T20:06:00.000+08:00

my life is stagnant. need to move. along or against.

somebody save me.

2010-03-09T01:33:00.000+08:00

most people like to think of themselves as self-sacrificing. me too.

im tired. but i cant sleep. tonight's an angsty one. even my laptop feels exceptionally lag on this lonesome night.

save me from my life.

2010-03-08T01:52:00.002+08:00

im full. very full.

just had some noodles.

work has been mundane. and boring. and routine.

i need to eat healthier. starting from monday. really. no more frappuccino drinks. no more artificial syrups. more tea, more hot/warm drinks. less diary. no fried stuff. more veggies. more lean white meat, less red meat. lesser cholestrol, more protein and calcium.

i am tired. (as usual)

2010-03-02T23:20:00.002+08:00

my head kinda hurts now. i donch know why.

i am looking for a job actually. something non-food. but to do with customer service. attractive pay, remuneration packages.

i feel alone now. i miss baby. feels so long since i last saw her. :(

been spending alot of time with my mom, my cousins, my aunt, my family. its good. felt like i missed out on too many family time.

alright y'll. text me, call me, email me if you've got job openings you think i might be suitable. appreciate. thanks :)

2010-03-01T00:08:00.002+08:00

the past week was a struggle. internally. i made mistakes. and its been one hard lesson. it was traumatic. i am disheartened. im setting my sights elsewhere.

im tired. i am. and i also believe everything can and will only be better from now onwards.

2010-02-22T00:10:00.003+08:00

my body's aching. schedule was tight this new year. but there's still too many i didnt see.. i miss shirley. i miss tiff. i miss kg,flo and beak. beak's flying off so soon. at times like this, i hate my job and whatever that comes with it.

im off tomorrow. but i gotta meet my boss at the support centre. i hope this issue ends and case will be closed. ive never felt like ive gotten into so much trouble before. but. my conscience is clear, cept' for the fact that i DID misplace it.

new year. new year. im getting tired-er by the day.

had fun with the usuals. went to apple's place for a short while, and we zoomed off to ken's place all the way at sembawang for steamboat. so much food! so expensive food! his parents are so nice la. and plus the fact, that i finally went to his house. its pretty and cosy. the boys gambled most of the time. the girls just sat there and ate and ate. talked and talked. gossipped and gossipped. no such word la. anyways. it was really great. the fun, the laughter, and the people. credits to tiac for taking so much time in organizing. there were about 15 ppl. missed becca. aww. and there were 6 cars. nice.. and these people, we've been around, doing all the cny visits together for 8 years. 8 years.. its just not easy. i somehow thrive to want to keep this going. until we bring all of our future families together. :)

also met up with the lower sec bunch, and it was a mini cosy gathering. bbq at andy's. kudos to andy for renting and preparation by aly! its really cool. cos everyone was mostly there. and the fact that, we're all still kinda close is great. i mean it. these are the people whom i meet regularly at the nearby starbucks to just have heart to heart sessions. and they're always ready to hear. and i'll always love them. :)

happy cny yo.

2010-02-08T22:44:00.001+08:00

ive been super kranky. super not nice to be with. i apologize. not entirely. only on my part. certain things, was only inevitable for me to get angry. i am angsty. am still.

i secretly hope my whole world will fall apart. and bring me down to bits and nothing else left. then perhaps, i have no reason more to try and live. i am tired. i stare aimlessly mostly.

i dont know wads wrong with me. i am, not me.

2010-02-03T12:23:00.001+08:00

hey oh hey oh.

i want this empty week before cny/v day to zoom over soon. because its nothing but work.

im craving for prata now. like major craving. with teh o. hahahaha.

i swear i wanted to type something here. but my mind just got blanked out. wtf. i feel brainless now.

2010-01-31T19:32:00.002+08:00

feeling so emo-fied. too tired. too worn from the day. losta holes in the psychological mind of my own. listening to the CD that was lying on the living room's table, seems like newly bought Jam Hsiao's re-sung of classic love songs. and it is pretty good.

because it made me feel like cryin'

i get the solace. from drinking earl grey tea from a recent purchased mug. i want that red mug.

feelin upset. and the more i think, the more i frown.

2010-01-26T20:55:00.001+08:00

just extremely tired. dont wanna talk. feeling too down.

2010-01-25T02:31:00.001+08:00

i am finally off tomorrow!!! and i am so looking forward to it.

did my paragon closing. wasnt that good at all. but wells, its over.

feels loved. really. :)

if you must eat, eat the healthier version.. which IS the koka rice noodles instant bowl noodles. LOVE IT. delicious and so much healthier.

and it fills you.

but i swear i miss pop tarts, soup spoon and fish and co. they just smell so nice.

2010-01-23T14:45:00.002+08:00

too many things. so little time.

the past week felt like such a long enduring. and it hasnt ended. tomorrow closing at paragon after stints at various stores including tonight's at holland village.

the store chalet happened on wed and thur. bbq on thur. the first time i ate so much food at a bbq. kudos to nadia for almost doing everything. i swear i helped ok. certain unhappy issues, but bygones, let it go.

those two days were my off days, needless to say, hardly got any rest. i miss my own store. i miss my own partners. i wanna meet my friends. i wanna watch some movies. wanna eat some popcorn.

sigh. one more day, just one more day. and its a whole new month.

2010-01-15T00:21:00.002+08:00

ive been putting off writing here because i simply dont know how to.

to my dearest friends out there, i do love you guys so much. i know you all love me too. im just really busy at work. i'll be attaching to different stores soon enough.. so. call me when you miss me alright? i'll try my bestest to meet up everyone at every gathering. but i dont deny, i need my alone time too. to think, to remember and to miss.

so many things going on. my mom's not really talking to me now. work's been pretty happening too, movements can be felt. life as in personal, isnt that bad, just still ongoing like usual.

new year resolutions.. none at all. i feel a pang of lil guilt hit me when people ard me start talking abt it. yuckie.

i need and want so much things, i cant recall all of them now. sher, wad is it?

2010-01-09T02:10:00.000+08:00

whoo. i need to read. more.

had my pants/black denims altered at plaza. met up with jinz, luiyee and kany for coffee. constant talking while waiting for kany had mr.nice Nad bring us ice water. lol. talked so much, laughed so much. love these bunch.

looking forward to the crooning session and grilled food.

til then, nights y'll.

2010-01-06T13:33:00.002+08:00

i feel a need to blog. to write down every thing thats going through my mind.

remembering those times we were genuinely happy together. i ache and want to relive those times again. i chose not to think. i feel wad i feel, i felt.

i want to forget certain things. i want to remember some. life isnt, a bed of roses. we go through stuffs and event of things, to realise. to understand.

2010-01-05T20:19:00.000+08:00

i hate coming home nowadays. only try to step in when my mom's asleep. hate it that she's breathing down my neck. i hate work too. cos expectations limit me. no. expectations from everywhere set their stupid standards for me. i am tired of complaining and whining, though im still gonna do that i know. argh. suffocated shit.

on a brighter side, tomorrow till sat, i'll be off. and i love it. and the less bright side, store chalet's coming up 20th and 21st. and im bloody working on the 22nd. and worst worst worst, i HAVE to plan it. tsk.

so tired. gonna go catch a lil nap.

2010-01-02T13:34:00.001+08:00

is it cos ive been hurt oh too many times, that people actually find it alright to hurt me. yea, its up to me la. too weak only. weak in the mind. i'm a terrible person la. but then i love myself. and all my friends love me.

going to work soon. doing closing. and its raining cats and dogs now. fuck it. first 2 days of twenty ten doesnt spell good already. hope the rest is alot better.

seriously, dont even say you love me in the first place. im a sucker for that. im a woman. i hate you.

2010-01-01T22:34:00.001+08:00

im sick. my body's weak and cold. i feel cold. shivering.
my nose is bleeding.

i cant breathe.

again, banana is here for me. only.

2010-01-01T10:54:00.002+08:00

its a new year now. and i hate it that unsettled problems have been brought over too.

i kinda hate my life. my whole, other-than-working-got-no-life life. and i hate myself for certain things. my certain ways. but ive been through. and ive become.

suddenly unclear again. i hate that its unclear.

2009-12-29T21:31:00.001+08:00

im so tired. feels like im falling sick.

moody. exhausted. tomorrow im doing opening again.

i dont want to, and will not be like before. i will not allow myself to falter again. not of the same reason at least.

i wish the world ends sooner.

2009-12-29T00:05:00.002+08:00

met up with edd and usuals at kok's place. ard 6pm. those guys and girls went to ECP for cycling and then bball. exercise christmas. lol. bbq and music and great company. hilarious and interesting gift exchange, kudos to manda!!

laugh till my face cramp can. its been too long since i laughed so damn heartily, till i cant control myself. haha.

love these ppl. those once in awhile gathering brights up one part of my life. and lotsa thanks to the organizers and venue host.

should be meeting up with luiyee, kany and ppl soon and soon again! haha.

i love doing everything now except going to work. im serious.

2009-12-27T02:22:00.003+08:00

feeling slightly emo-fied today.

just reached home not too long. meeting them 10am tomorrow? and fuck. flu. hate it. hate it. i wanna enjoy myself tomorrow.

i miss me and my past. this is those time.

2009-12-25T04:14:00.000+08:00

merry merry christmas!! best holiday wishes for everyone!!

work was abit messy, confusing, unsettled and unhappy. but damn. its christmas. after closing, went to edd's place to do some lil mahjong. and basically, everyone but jinz lost money. hahaha. they were all damn tired. ken tiac edd and jinz. poor poor.

im sitting in front of the com, not much ppl online. no ppl on fb. and im trying to squeeze out words to type.

cherie msg me from HK. :)

2009-12-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

yawns. just got back home from a gathering with kandy kane, andy, luiyee, jinz, applely, jesvin, chelz and of cos, the usually late darrentan.

had dinner at Hatched. saw joshua there. haha. love breakfast. love eggs. love ham. how can they go wrong. love hatched.

starting work tomorrow. not clubbing now. feels sian-ed. pour me some christmas mooooodddd la!

im starting to miss you now, now that you're not in singapore.
my conditions are clear. and i stand firm to them. its not easy for me, and will not be easy for you.
my heart was thoroughly broken when you walked off. walked easily into another's. you might think it sounds ridiculous from a third party's point of view, but i really do not care. i just want to protect myself. i cant rely on blind trust or faith anymore. i miss you.
when will you or anyone start to think from my position and wad ive been through, and understand where i'm coming from when i state wad i have. i'd love to be happy. but im sorry if i cant accept anything lesser than wad i expect now.
come back soon. its the 3rd time im saying i miss you.

goodnight y'll.

flo's hospitalized again. this time due to infection. gonna drop by tomorrow before work. hope she's doing well. sigh.

2009-12-23T03:41:00.001+08:00

just got home from shirley's. grace was the main chef for the day. it is, was, of cos, tiff's 20th!! haha. she had her poly friends and dome ppl over. was an overall fun dinner/late night session. thanks to Wii. love wii.

there was delicious and meticulous food prepared by the chef. over-cooked glutinous dumplings by me. champagne courtesy of grace and shirley. pictures. and more pictures.

happy birthday my darlin'!!

took a cab home after. not sure if tomorrow night is on. i mean the later part. shall see how. might feel too tired to club. but of cos. dinner with the ol'lovelies tomorrow.

confused.

2009-12-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

looking at the pictures i just posted on FB. i remember saying i wouldnt club. i also remember saying i am damn hell straight. i have the tendancy to always give myself one slap after things happen.

that was before. not anymore. cos i learnt the hard way how not to shoot my mouth off about the future. things are never definite.

2009-12-17T12:50:00.002+08:00

whoo hoo!

met up with the girls for ladies night yesterday. dinner with kat jinz eveleen and myself.

becca, calvin, calvin's friend and yu joined shortly. followed by eileen and wenyee. at zirca/rebel. some of us went to attica. loves loves LOVES. so fun. so high. love it. drank so much so fast. gotten slight drunk when we stepped out. music stopped. thats when the alchohol kicked in. ahhh. but it was fun. love it. another session soon! fridays are good. i'll try my bestest to make it!!

today's off day again. bored. mom's off day too. siann-ess. wants to go to DP later. see if i can get anything on sale. sigh sigh sigh. no money.

partttyyy time yo!

2009-12-16T02:22:00.001+08:00

its a boring tuesday night/wed mid. hate it.

feels like long enough since i got an off day, which totally aint true. cos ive only been working 4 days. but it feels long enough. tiring enough. so.

meeting the girls up tomorrow night. im hoping to have lotsa fun partttyyying. need it for relaxing purposes.

2009-12-13T02:34:00.000+08:00

i swear. ION is nowhere near busy to LT. and i really, have no wish to go to LT again on a weekend. but dammit. im there again in less than 12 hrs time to finish off sunday's attachment. hate it. oh no.

im so tired. think my right hand is sligh swollen. vein could be hurt. oh no-ish.

arms are breaking. back is aching. head is pounding. damn fucking noisy. and the customers are all as noisy as ever. saw adam chen there. again. with his gf i believe. he said hi too. haha.

sian-ness. just ate mac. gonna put on so much. but but but, im really very hungry.

cant make it. gotta go sleep now.

bye y'll. loves.

2009-12-12T00:34:00.000+08:00

YAWNS. feeling very tired. constantly yawning is a sign.

fingers crossed for tomorrow and sunday's shift. damn damn. dont feel good at all.

need to sleep, not sure if i can sleep. online is just damn hell bored.

caught new moon today. movie was just really so-so.

dear flo,

please take very good care of yourself ok. dont laugh everything off. if you need to treat it very seriously, you have to. dont worry about us, your loved ones being worried. cos you're dear to us. in short, please please take care of yourself so very much. and. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOW!!!!!!!

haha. you're finally 22! welcome to the club!

2009-12-11T12:04:00.002+08:00

knocked out since 2230 last night? slept all the way. body still aches slightly. so very tired.

apologies to shirley, tiff and grace. i forgot to send a text to say i wasnt going. mom was at ion waiting for me. so i had dinner with her and headed home. too tired to stay out.

tomorrow and sunday will be at LT. so, dearies, do not go to ion to look for me. haha. im pretty stressed abt these 2 days. hope it ends quick!

im hungry now. shall go downstairs to grab a bite. ciao all.

its a lazy day today.

2009-12-08T21:41:00.002+08:00

SANTA CAN YOU HEAR ME!!

hahaha. love loves LOVES!

feeling so christmas-y and joyous already.

went for a hair cut/trim at yew tee. edd swung by to pick me up. had a brief dinner at plaza. and back home. managed a two hour watching tv session with mom. just got online. and guess wad. work again tomorrow. SIAN.

beginning to feel the tiresome part of work. no doubt fun and flirty. so torn. anyways, just be a good girl and go to work as per usual. enjoy and stay cheery.

i seriously love christmas.

i miss asyran. and that particular surprise on that one saturday. its been awhile. FLOWER SURPRISE!! other than that, i DO miss that guy. though im pretty sure its one-sided.

AW. so sad.

LOL.

all i want for christmas is youuuuuu.....

2009-12-07T14:14:00.003+08:00

slept through so well. damn hell tired. can feel my body's muscles. dammit.

heading to work in awhile. feels so sian. closing today. hope i have a good shift. with lovelies kambing and pyopyo. haha.

i so dont feel like working. how many times have i said this? countless.

2009-12-06T20:27:00.002+08:00

so tired.

im typing away on kok's laptop which is on a mahjong table. edd's lying on kok's bed after his run today. he looks worn. i mean. he IS worn. the rest just went down for dinner. i refuse to eat KFC leh. maybe go home cook noodles.

work is still crazy like ever. always feel like we're working so damn hard. and numbers dont reflect similarly. damn tired.

im still me. but i know myself. i get to know myself better each time. if its ended, i know it has.

shall get a lift from edd later :)

2009-12-06T01:14:00.001+08:00

im seriously exhausted. but i had a great time with luiyee and kany belly at plaza. for some, mm. mac or sb. wadeva la. we ended up mostly talking at one corner in plaza. thanks to the new anal manager at plaza.

anyways, talked and laughed. love it. love myself. HAHA!

im so tired. so busy today. so short of manpower. work like crazy. dropped by OP to see the rest. rested awhile over there while shah and janice smokedddd. imp joined in during break. saw fai as well.

its so weird how my english level seems to move alone with whether or not i AM reading at this moment. sounds like my brain isnt functioning anymore. so. in approximately 05 min. i'll be knocked out. i swear. goodnights y'll. love.

2009-12-03T21:06:00.002+08:00

tiredness!

total madness. i mean, not THAT bad la. but really, eye-opener. cos the queue isnt like that everyday. wad can i do, to make my queue like today everyday. it'll be interesting.

im famished. my voice is going hoarse. so is sze hui, my poor thing opening partner for today and tomorrow. her's is worst la. haha. many ppl falling sick. and dont seem to get well too soon. lucky i had my panadol max today. phew.

busi-ness. doing opening straight for the rest of the week. closing on mon. and off on tuesdays. hate offs on tuesdays. anyways.

hungry, and the best bet i have, i am munching onto now. salted pretzels from marks and spencers. prob expired. but i kept it in the fridge. it helps preserve right? it doesnt taste weird. so i guess im safe. a few more sticks and i should be good. time to sleep.

take some peace-time out before i knock out. loves.

2009-12-02T21:34:00.002+08:00

hi loves.

i had a day with myself. ended up topping up card at plaza. headed to holland v. finished the rest of the book at CBTL. spun myself to borders at wheelock. got a new book. bus-ed down to great world city. relaxed at SB. walked the entire mall, literally. had light dinner. took a stroll in cold storage. and. i miss christmas till i want to cry.

i missed christmas, those christmas. when the family was tight. when we were little. fascinated abt the honey baked ham every year. excited over presents under the christmas tree we helped put decorations to. and every aunt had a present for every one of us. imagine a whole big bag of presents you bring home every year. i felt like santa was real. i walk down cold storage, reminded of those christmas mornings/early afternoons where we(cousins) had to rush down to causeway point's, to pick up very last min ingredients my aunt was lacking. NTUC wouldnt do. cos they didnt have those. i remeber uncle joo ching cracking up the raw almonds, brazil nuts and pecans post dinnertime. the feast, ah. words cant describe. christmas meant so much to us. why does it not anymore? i think i know why. we've grown up. but i dont see the reasonable side to this answer. we're still us. wad if, mom, and all my aunts and uncles are not here anymore? then it'll be really different. i do, miss christmas so much. it aches that its just memories now.

nora roberts always does the magic. create fluttering butterflies in my stomach, have me aw-ing and ooh-ing over the romance. romantiscizing her words, actions and meaning. i love romance novels. i like to be sucked into this whole fiction fantasy. most importantly, i can imagine. i can put the picture in my mind whilst reading. i feel so damn happy for the protagonist. and the best part? this quartet series is about a wedding business. 4 best friends, 4 business partners who all play a damn hell important role in thier wedding planning business. its sold. to me, at least. heartfelt romance, honesty, confused souls, obstacles, overcoming obstacles, hot sex. i swear if im not reading the book in public, i'd cry. oh k. i love to cry.

"It doesnt come with a guarantee. Why should it? It's not a car or a computer. It's life, its messy and it breaks down. It's a promise to try. I want to promise to try." - Mackensie Eillot (Vision in White)

and. i learnt a new word.
Epiphany. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

2009-12-02T13:07:00.002+08:00

i refuse to just stay home the entire day. jio-ed eveleen to hatched. most prolly dont think so. options include airport so i can drop by the new dome by shirley over there. or great world, cos its really quiet with not much human interface and plus they DO have a reasonably big Dorothy Perkins over there and lotsa cafes to choose from. choice no. 3 says CBTL at railway mall. i still feel like eating scrambled eggs la. and next up, my usual favourite holland village. but its so crowded there. i feel compelled to visit SB if i end up in holland v. ok. and ive got tea party too. evonne said the scone's good. and plus i know it'll be quiet. wondering abt the lightings. oh yikes.

i cant decide. i have to drop by plaza first anyways. i need to top my flash pay card. its not toppable at LRT stations. alrighty. shall head off to.. dont know where.

p.s: im still sick.

2009-12-02T02:41:00.002+08:00

rawrrrsss.

sick like mad. body's aching. and damn. i feel like i didnt do a nice closing today at op. fuck. my mind cant function when my body cant. i took panadol extra before i started work, hoping that it'll make me better and pull me through the shift. but damn. lasted for like 3 hrs? head aching. hungry. munching onto m/o roast chicken apricot. i like it. ive always like apricot chutney with my chicken in a s/wich. still remember dome's roast chicken and fresh mango in multigrain. love love love. feel like scramble eggs for breakfast. but damn. im sick. shall just stick to my bed and tv tomorrow. gotta be prepared for thursday.

and gladness. dont have to walk to the bank thats oh so farrrr awayyyyy anymore! yippie. can just go to the one at ion. loves.

its a sign. to suddenly fall sick without any pre symtons isnt right. it MUST be a sign. haha. decemeber. love-hate relationship with this particular exciting month.

bring the party on!

2009-12-01T11:31:00.000+08:00

im insanely sick. it came all too suddenly. over the mahjong table. wtf.

started sneezing. then my throat started aching. now my head is so damn pain. and oh. i have to go to work laterrrr. helpppppppp!

sigh.

2009-12-01T01:41:00.002+08:00

i am over. i am.

and it wont change the fact that you both are bitches. and stay the fuck away from my life. and no. i dont hate any of you. i just seriously dont want to have anything associated with you at all. if i talk to you, its only because i have to. trust me, i dont want to.

its bestie edd's birthday! caught a movie. case 39 with edd and apple. edd blew a cake in his car. haha. proceeded to buy new mj table. so we played on new mj table and new mj tiles. loves. lost 10 bucks in total. but still fun. good game.

mj time soon again. k session too. and of cos.. CLUBBIN!!!

2009-11-30T01:05:00.000+08:00

wooh. got home like 10 min ago.

went out in the afternoon to meet mom at bugis. shopped around. after which, headed for marina square. also the venue for the little cosy gathering for edd's birthday.

dinner was at billy bomber's. and for the first time after dining at countless places, a waiter spilled the entire glass of green grasshopper on me. kena my top. sigh.

after dinner was the drive to kok's place. for mj and k. love it. just nice. 8 ppl. cosy and sweet. and of cos, edd got his royal treatment from the boys. this just continues, and its damn funny. im off again tomorrow. feels so bored. that for 2 days straight, i pretty much have no life. i guess, i'm with my book tomorrow too.

i had fun with them today. i also had fun shopping with mom today. today.. was a good day!

ok. im feeling slightly tired now. maybe i should hit my sheets.

love y'll!

2009-11-28T21:01:00.001+08:00

being online serves no meaningful purpose for me as of now. its so bored. its sat night. im home early. wanted to go out. have fun. party. but seems like no one wants to layan me. feel like being alone again. its back in me. wants so much to enjoy alone time. doing anything, quietly and peacefully, only me in my own world. i loved it so much.

after hitting publish post, i should be off to lala-land. i know its early, but im so damn tired. exhausted of work.

should be meeting the usuals for edd's celebration tomorrow. donch know how it'll turn out.

i need to go sleep now. eyes are half closed.

i love myself.

2009-11-25T23:50:00.002+08:00

i was off today. spent the day at home doing nothing. slept and slept.

finally woke up, walked to plaza in an attempt to purchase my flashpay card which the convenience store did not have stock for. went to SB, saw nad there. he's quite cute. but he's like a small boy. he's been transfered here. guess its good news? haha. since i always go there. and i just learnt, he stays in bp too. wow-ness.

and poor haikal is sick today! i hear from evonne. i sometimes think IN girls are crazy. but well, one cant deny haikal's cuteness at all.

my christmas period is officially burned. no celebration whatsoever. sucks man. all in the name of work.

had dinner with eveleen and mom at newton circus. i like eating. thats why im not skinnyyyyyy! hate it.

happy birthday to dearest bestie kennethhhhh!! thanks for always being there for me. though you hurl insults at me, i know you still love me! HAPPILY BIRTHDAY!

2009-11-23T22:56:00.002+08:00

its monday! and today, i genuinely feel glad. haha.

my period finally came!!! after wad, 5 months? im so relieved. serious. i hope this is a sign that nothing is going wrong in my system.

anyways, today was pretty busy for a monday. headed down to edd's house to meet them. kok and ken. for some, ahem. ken's birthday celebration. so two cars down to kok's for him to shower. then went off for dinner at OWEN's. seafood at turf city. relatively cheap for seafood. and the boys had a showdown. pics should be up in fb soon enough. cheerios.!

just got my updated schedule. and it pretty much sucks to the max. i swear im gonna be alot smarter the next time round.

i suppose i know wad im doing now. i do. and no. i remember how was it like before, and im not going to be that way again. there are things though, that i enjoy. and only he can give me that. after so long. he seems to always get wad i say, though he isnt always there to hear wad i say. anyways, i just know, that i care about him enough, but i dont love love him. i of cos have feelings for him, just not in that strong way anymore. i admit, i still sometimes look forward to his replies, but i dont wait for the replies. you get the difference? aiya. its just that, ya. i AM actually quite happy now. cos whatever i do, there isnt any strings attached.

2009-11-22T21:07:00.003+08:00

im tired!! shout out!

did opening, went down to tanglin for OP's co-host cheer party. cosy one. it was alright to me.. could be better. and bus-ed home with evonne. haha.

i woke up feeling emotionally better this morning. seems like, i just woke up from a bad dream. and its playing some nice melodies now. :)

though i was damn hell tired, keep wanting to fall asleep, but the scene keeps repeating in my head. i couldnt sleep through thoroughly the whole night. oh wells. shall try my best to.

loves jelly tots. so muchy.

2009-11-22T01:12:00.001+08:00

i just got home say 10 min ago. off today. met edd at plaza for some ice cream. then we had an impromptu decision to watch paranormal activity. and i tell you. its damn scary. horror factor to the max. the goosebumps just kept coming up! and its so disturbing! oh no. i cant sleep tonight!

and we saw andy and carissa in the lift, coming out from the same cinema. haha. i dont really know her name. clarisa? calista? carissa? shall do some clarification the next time i see andy.

oh no. working tomorrow again. morning shift. sigh.

2009-11-21T14:57:00.000+08:00

whee! feels so refreshed today. love today. prob cos i dont have to work!!

oh my. used to enjoy working so much.

anyways, CIAO!

2009-11-21T02:03:00.001+08:00

i lost dilbert. i felt so frantic. i called cherie. and i keep repeating, i lost my card. i lost my card. i lost dilbert. and i started crying. and crying. tears just keep falling. no matter how i try to wipe it, i keep weeping.

i was on my way to meet beak, kg and flo at chomps. i misplaced my ezlink card in the toilet. its my fault.

i feel physically and mentally worn.

health seems to have problems. im feeling it. i need to go for a checkup.
work, sigh.
heart, question mark.

2009-11-19T00:13:00.002+08:00

im home im home.

feels so damn tired. meeting flo, kg and beak on friday. gotta confirm venue again.

thanks to the same girls for a new fossil watch! and also thanks to my dearest tiff and shirley for a new bottle of bright crystal! love everyone!

christmas is coming. so is new year. i want christmas presents! i want to wait under that chimney for santa. i want the christmas feast at home. i want to eat my favourite butter rice with almonds and raisins. i want my honey baked ham. i want my pies. i want to unwrap presents under the christmas tree. i want to feel like a little girl again.
may i?

met eveleen after work. had dinner at taka, then we headed to watch 2012. the movie is good la i think. and we had some funny moments. throughout the whole show, you'll just keep thinking abt humanity and how you should feel. its kinda a brain wash thing?

but yep. everyone is ultimately still entitled to how he/she wants to feel. so. can just fuck it. do wad you want and be merry!! i sure love life now. im free to make merry!

2009-11-18T03:19:00.003+08:00

I gave you all you desired
All that you needed
Boy I provided
I let you into my head into my bed
And that’s a privilege
I had your back in the answers
You took the dollars
I took the chances
Defended battled and fought
Cause I really thought you loved me

I don’t know where to start or where to stop (No)
But I know I am done I’ve had enough

So fall, out of my head out of my heart
And when you hit the ground

You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch while you

Fall out of your mind out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall think of me

I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

You said that you were the strong one
I was the girl and I was the young one
I kept your feet on the ground
My head in the rounds, I had you
You told me you were so grateful
I was with you and I was so faithful
I stood by in all that you said
And all that you dared, I loved you

I don’t know how to act or what to say

But I know I am good I’ll be OK
And you

Fall, out of my head, out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch you while you
You fall out of your mind, out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall think of me

I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

I want you to fall..........

**lyrics to my current favourite. FALL.

2009-11-18T02:51:00.002+08:00

well well!

i just changed my skin. and i am not exactly 100 percent happy with it.. yet! but its good for now. lazy la. if you realised, i used this skin before, like eons ago. i still chose to stick with red. love red. got my tagboard up again. got my mixpod going too. currently just really into FALL. enjoy my friends! do click onto the playlist too. its almost, just almost like the one im listening to on my mp3 everyday.

i swear im going crazy. my life is crazy. i AM crazy.

im disappointed in you cheryl.

2009-11-17T03:06:00.001+08:00

today's shift was so so. not too busy. but damn hell dramatic!

i still feel like laughing, but there IS a serious side to it. i needed to protect my customers and partners and myself. we could all have died if it really happened. involving the police.. wow.

my shifts are always full of suspicion and drama shit. HAHA.

well well. life's been better. as compared to yesterday. life is great. i actually feel alot better myself. and that doesnt decrease negative feelings for others.

i dont feel in particular, anything. i cant find my heart man.

but alls good. i need my schedule out soon. plans to be made, gatherings to be organized, parties to be happening. bring on DECEMBER now baby!!

2009-11-16T12:00:00.002+08:00

this is me. and i love to whine.

im soo boredd. closing today. feels so sian. i hope 3rd dec will be hell lotsa fun. it better be.

my life can only get better from now on. no more sulking. no more crying. time to stand up. face the world. even if im alone. like edd would say, suck it up.

this is it. we shant talk unnecessary anymore. i will not be bother abt ur happenings anymore. carry on doing things that makes you happy. this is the last time. im telling you. as much as i dislike you, wanting to rip you apart. dont forget. always remember to be happy. this is wad i'll do. and once again. thank you for letting me know myself better through these whole months we were happy together. memories are kept buried. i wont forget.

im really glad i have my dearies and loves with me throughout. and this whole episode has to end. so it shall be.

embarking on a new life!

2009-11-15T04:05:00.002+08:00

im so fucking hurt. i cannot stop crying.

why. do all these. why cant u be truthful to me? or even at least urself. cos noone in the whole world fucking knows wad the fuck is the truth. only you. you only choose the person you want to lie to. face up to ur fucking feelings.

i swear i'll be fucking strong.

i tried so fucking hard.

2009-11-13T21:13:00.001+08:00

just got home. feels sick. and bored.

dont look forward to work.

and yea. i had fun roaming around in the rain alone. bite me.

2009-11-13T03:09:00.002+08:00

yawnss. mahjong session at edd's quite impromptu. but still. today was pretty so so. played like 1 and half round. too tired. cant make it. tomorrow opening! sian-ed. ken's staying over at edd's. xf was nice to send me home. cheers :)

met aggie, kelvin, shah, janice, filzah and cherie for dinner at nijumaru! rushed off to edd's straight after that. we're running out of places to eat. suggestionssssss!

and..... BEAK is home!!!!!!

2009-11-12T04:07:00.002+08:00

i had fun tonight. though only 4 of us. minus all the dirty grinding from some of the unexpected crowd and some traumatizing moments, all else was great!

the usual crowd wasnt there. skipped from zouk. to arena. to attica. to macs. to zirca/rebel. back to arena. then to attica. i had a bad experience at zouk. not going back again anytime soon. argh.

love the music. love the crowd. love all the ang mohs. love all the hot guys. love the great time!

pictures are with eveleen. cheeeeeeerrss!

so comforting to have a piping bowl of noodles in front of me. after a tired night out. cheers everyone!

this is it for this month. dec here i comeeeeeee!

2009-11-11T20:15:00.002+08:00

i often get misunderstood. i often get read by ppl.

and mostly, i think they've got it wrong. or was it me, refusing to let them be right abt myself?

or do i really dont think this way.

2009-11-10T20:01:00.002+08:00

im feeling feverish. and sick. so damn tired. had a bad dream abt a bad shift. oh yucks. save me someone. oh me god.

aggie is finally back! we're so down on partners that janiceeeee had to be our closer today! haha.

and so sad! i couldnt go to bank today. cant see haikal! HAHA!

seriously, im gonna tell ppl my name is Sherelle. up my market value abit. ahaha.

i dont wanna fall sick. i wanna parrrtttyyyy.

2009-11-09T03:52:00.000+08:00

im exhausted. muscles forming at the shoulder area. stressed out.

horrendous shift i ran for yesterday and today. fuck. i seriously doubt my own ability.

and schizo. i may be. ARGH.

2009-11-08T14:10:00.002+08:00

its damn sucky! im going to work soon. my oh my.

misses beak so much. cant wait for a big, real hug.

i want to cry.

2009-11-08T00:43:00.000+08:00

i feel so damn tired la. old already. never sleep will die. plus today's sat. slam like shit. since so long ago. fuck man. seriously. i thought i was gonna die. first time crying because of work in SB. damn hell stress. tomorrow another day to come. kill me first!

2009-11-06T06:28:00.002+08:00

yawns. throat's feeling superly dry. need more waterrrrrr.

just got home. was at SB LT until abt 5.45? with joe and a sleeping/drunk qi. joe was busy with her work stuff, so was i. so we were doing our things and talking at the same time. and ah HAH! maybelle was on shift, so quite crappy la. joke here and there. haha. she's damn funny.

gotta hit the bed soon. unsure of plans later. mm. wonder. i wonder.

weirdly, i dont feel anything at all now. i mean. nothing-ness.

oh yea! off day. love it.

2009-11-05T02:46:00.001+08:00

passed my assessment. glad i made it. though, weirdly, i dont feel particularly happy or excited.
just glad that i got through.

fuck it man. im actually damn hell angry. its so weird.

fuck you.

2009-11-04T13:46:00.003+08:00

this is it. its today. assessment at 6.30. oh no. stress factor hit max. i haven even finish my book. die. fingers really crossed.

my mood fluctuates. so does how i feel. like as of now, i feel strong. and in control. no need for her to be here. but when it hits me, it'll get really bad. and i seriously just hate thinking abt it. but i cant stop it. it makes me helpless. and i keep fearing. i need to get over this. i cant fear forever.

i cant wait for eddie to come back.

my dear friends, lets make plans to parttttyyyyy!

that is.. if i pass today.

2009-11-03T12:32:00.002+08:00

i thought i could handle it. wanted to get it over and done with. get over the heartbreak. done with the crying.

but its back haunting me.

ive become so selfish i cant look at myself anymore.

im very sorry.

2009-11-02T14:20:00.000+08:00

lost in my own world. lost in the real world.

truth is, i dont know myself.

who the fuck am i. who's taking over my body. kill it. kill it.

help.

2009-11-01T03:57:00.001+08:00

its rainy season again.

like it cos its cooler, also tells me that end of the year is approaching. christmas and new years'. looking forward? not so sure.

must have caught the flu. body feels tired. emotionally unstable. angsty angsty. sore throat. hands and feet feel cold. drinking earl grey tea to calm myself down before i hit the bed.

physically and mentally exhausted.

stress to the max. almost teared in the midst of running a shift.

2009-10-30T23:45:00.002+08:00

i dont feel well. physically sick. feels nauseous. bloated. feeling super cold.

went for dinner with mom at chinatown. famous porridge. took 190 home. was raining. got drizzled by it a lil. was sleeping all the way in bus. came home. and slept again. woke up now. feeling not here not there. feverish. cold.

and weirdly, i crave for someone emotionally now. not picking up the phone as usual. sigh.

im seriously not looking for a permanent relationship with anyone right now. not that anyone IS interested la. HAHA. im not ready for all these.

2009-10-29T03:30:00.001+08:00

im home :)

was at zirca with eveleen mostly. ken, tiac and kok were with us for a short while, left, and wenyee came. it was half fun. the more the merrier i guess. shall hit PLAY sometime soon. yeay-ness!

slight worn out. drinking on my earl grey tea.

gonna start on my gossip girl.

i love blair and chuck.

i love hot men.

HAHAHA.

2009-10-27T13:57:00.000+08:00

oh fuck man. cant sleep through these days. wakes up in every 2 hrs. bad dreams here and there. yucks.

my perfume is finishing. i want my Versace's Bright Crystal again. :(

and you know wad, i dont wanna talk abt it anymore. enough.

yawns. have to run to work now. off tomorrow. meeting eveleen i guess. we're going for churros :) cheers:)

2009-10-27T04:19:00.002+08:00

hi earthlings.

i am fine. im doing ok. except for some nose bleeding. this whole nose bleed thing has stopped for awhile. now its back. oh no.

met joe, adelynn and qi at hk cafe just now after shift. talked. they were worried abt me. and i appreciate them.

sorry to cherie that you got bothered by them. they couldnt find anyway else. for that, im sorry.

i am going on fine. should've past that initial stage. i dont deny that im heartbroken still. but yes. i am moving on. wads past has past, and will stay in the past. i sincerely hope we're still friends.
no hatred. no blaming.

moving on is a naturally hard thing to do. but each time, it makes u stronger. if you repeatedly get hurt, your heart gets tougher. no use dwelling on the past. although, its so much easier said than done. i will still think abt those days. but rest assured.. i will move on. in fact, i am moving on.

xoxo.

:)

2009-10-26T02:58:00.001+08:00

ive got this song on repeat mode playing on my mp3.

James Morrison - the pieces dont fit anymore

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Chorus
Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, Pieces don't fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

(Chorus)

Ooh don't missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why, no I don't know why.
III dont know why...... whyyyyyyyy!

2009-10-25T13:58:00.000+08:00

going off to work very soon.

feeling pretty much the same.

feels sick now.

i wonder. i wonder.

closing. closing tomorrow. closing the day after too.

2009-10-25T05:54:00.000+08:00

just reached home. tired. mentally, emotionally or even physically.

gonna hit the bed. now.

2009-10-24T12:35:00.001+08:00

ive got so many thanks to so many ppl for having sent their birthday wishes, through sms-es, calls or even facebook. haha. thanks to all.

im thankful for my friends being around me too. for holding me up through it all. for standing by my side supporting me. to catch me when i really fall.

i will get over this in time. i know i will. and i can. pardon me, cos its still raw now.

ive always been very honest abt how i feel. until when it no longer hurts, and when we're ready to be friends, we will be. dont push me to move on. i need time. im not you.

looking back, it was no doubt the best time of my life. and i thank you for that.

i'll always love you.

2009-10-23T00:21:00.002+08:00

happy birthday to myself.

waited for kenneth after SS workshop. he ate at BK. went over to OP to chill. then we left, took a long walk all the way till newton there. just talking, gossiping, chatting about life. took a bus and went to island cremary. before we ate ice cream, spent like 45 min talking about movies and this and that. liyu joined us shortly after. tiac and kok came after too.

kok drove us home. they wished me happy birthday on the dot. i was tearing.

this isnt how i was looking fwd to today. chen zao played in kok's car. i ate horlicks and nutella flavor at island cremary. im blogging now. listening to wo bu nan guo.

wrecked, sher.

20109 till 20109
ily. imy.

2009-10-21T23:14:00.002+08:00

im home. felt so empty after shift. called jinz. had an impromptu met up with jj, yu and jinz. kok came after to send us home. how nice of him.

cant. cant handle being alone too much. im trying so hard to move on. and to get on with my life. im just afraid to stop alone at any point. i just feel like the whole world is looking at me with disapproving eyes. i keep wallowing in self-pitiness. i tremble again and hug banana damn hell tight. i feel sucked into a negative energy. and i keep crying. i dont wanna be depressed.

i cant concentrate on my priorities. im disturbed.

i lost her. and i blame myself.

2009-10-20T22:42:00.002+08:00

we broke up.

im still crying. i dont actually know when did we officially broke up. was it the afternoon?

i dont mean to put pressure on you. i dont mean to stress you. and i meant it when i said i want us to go back to how we were. too bad, it didnt manage to happen. as much as i love you, i know i have to let you go, because you dont love me anymore.

the way you talked to me back on the phone, im thoroughly hurt. if that's wad u want, yes, you've got it. im sorry being the naive me, that i expected a more peaceful breakup.

i didnt expect you to be the one. that i choose to trust with my heart.

its like the past few times. that u chose to drop it as easily as the rest.

im sorry. 9 months. apparently doesnt mean anything to you. or rather i dont mean anything to you.

i dont even know wad to say anymore.

deeply hurt.

2009-10-12T00:31:00.002+08:00

ive been blogging since the longest time. and. i haven even hit 1000 post. not that it matters. just that i happen to take note of it today.

anyways. work has been.. like roller coaster. i hope my future in SB will be bright. and i can perform. i'm aware when i feel stagnant. and really, dealing with own partners aint my forte. but.. i HAVE to try.

was at kok's place with eddie, liyu, kenneth, ronald, chia ling, tiac and xf. was to celebrate ronald's and mine birthday. thanks guys. abit last min, but good to gather. although i lost 3 bucks. haha. never fail. this group of good friends, never fail to get a cake for our birthdays. appreciated :)

other than that, everythings's the same.

i miss shirley. i do.

2009-10-01T01:51:00.002+08:00

my heart's aching. this time round. we have a problem on hand. its so hard to resolve. we've become very unhappy.

i feel the ache. hurting. when i try to let go of us. i held back. i dont want to lose you. i dont even want us to be unhappy.

i cant sleep.

there's noone who loved me like u did. i know u love me. i really know.

2009-09-30T00:59:00.001+08:00

the second time watching P.S. I LOVE YOU.

still got me crying non-stop. i really like this movie alot. i havent read the book though. i dont want to in fact. the movie's good for me.

met up with luiyee, jinz, appley and kany at lot one just now. had dinner and MOF. loves matcha shakes with extra extra shiratama. cheers.

brings me to think back. i caught this movie last year, near valentine's day. and i loved it back then. i still do.

2009-09-28T01:09:00.001+08:00

banana's like the only thing that will never leave me alone. its there. everyday like oxygen. i hug it to sleep every single night. like its presence doesnt affect me. at my lowest point in life, where i have to hug banana and cry my whole heart out. its got my tears. providing the only comfort i could ever find when im the most vulnerable. all these years.

i bet i cant sleep. i just switched on the com again.
or i'll cry till im tired.
then i'll sleep.

2009-09-27T22:29:00.001+08:00

im so tired. my heart hurts. my tears wont stop.

why is this happening to me.

i need to work.